When you're over 60...

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.2. In a hostage situation, you will likely be released first.3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.4. People call at 9 pm and ask, Did I wake you????5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.7. Things you buy now won't wear out.8. You can eat supper at 4 pm.9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.