Joke: Am I Dead

All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a cowl standing in front of his bed. “What the hell are you doing in my bedroom? and who are you?” he asked.

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“This is not your bedroom,” the man replied, “I am St. Peter, and you are in heaven.” “WHAT!?? Are you saying I’m dead? I don’t want to die – I’m too young.” said Harry.

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“If I’m dead, I want you to send me back immediately.”

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“It’s not that easy”, said St.Peter, “you can only return as a dog or a hen. You can choose on your own.”

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Harry thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life.

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Running around with a rooster can’t be that bad. “I want to return as a hen.” Harry replied.

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And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered.

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But, man, now “he” felt like the rear end was gonna blow, then along came the rooster.

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“Hey, you must be the new hen on the farm.” he said. “How does it feel?” “Well, it’s OK I guess, but it feels like my rear end is blowing up.” “Oh that!” said the rooster.

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“That’s only the ovulation going on. Have you never laid an egg before?” “No, how do I do that?” Harry asked.

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“Cluck twice, and then you push all you can.” Harry clucked twice, and pushed more than he was good for, and then ‘Plop’ and an egg was on the ground.

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“Wow” Harry said, “that felt really good!” So he clucked again and squeezed – and you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground.

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The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout: “Harry, for God’s sake wake up, you’re shitting all over the bed!”

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