Tag: Jokes

Dad had the opportunity to buy his medications directly from the pharmacy company. “Here is your prescription sir, that will be $515 dollars.” Dad was a bit hard of hearing so he…

A blonde has failed the written driving test four times. At the fifth attempt, she was determined to pass: But the test had the same question. “You are driving at 100 mph. On your…

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up when the doorbell rings.The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door,…

Two blonde sisters, Abby and Amy went fishing and decided to rent a boat on a lake. After fishing for hours at various spots and catching nothing, they decided to try one more time…

YOU MIGHT BE A PREACHER IF... - You've dreamed you were preaching, only to awaken and discover you were. - A church picnic is no picnic. - You wish people would die at more…

At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little…

Mr. and Mrs. Morrison were on a safari in Africa. As they were walking through the jungle, a huge lion comes creeping out towards them, ready to pounce. "Shoot!" Mrs.…

A guy walks into a clinic to have his blood type taken. The nurse goes about taking the blood sample from his finger after finishing she looks around for a piece of cotton to wipe…

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? Border Collie: Just one. Then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code. Rottweiler: Make me! Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let…

In my job with a delivery company, I was getting directions to a customer's home. The woman very specifically said, "From the main road in the center of town go two…

A blonde is driving in her mini down the high way when she notices another blonde in a boat out in the middle of a corn field. The blonde in the boat was rowing the boat. The…

Think About It... - Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone. - What if there were no hypothetical questions? - One nice thing about egotists: They…

  These three drunk guys decide to go to the joy house. The madam sees them coming and tells the girls to just throw some blow up dolls in the rooms and turn the lights out. The…

A man phones his wife and asks her: “Honey I’ve been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get the promotion. So could you…

Three scruffy-looking bikers entered the truck stop where an elderly man was dining. The first biker chuckled and sat down at the counter as they passed the elderly man after…

Mom: Time to wake up and go to school! Son: No, I don’t wanna go to school today! Mom: But you have to go to school. Son: But, I don’t wanna go to school. Mom: Give me three good…

  A man walks into an antique store and starts looking around. Suddenly, he gazes upon the most stunning bronze statue of a Siamese cat. He asks the store owner how much he wants…

Our 26-year-old son moved back home with the idea to stock away money to buy a condo. We never bothered asking how long he'd planned to stay, but I got a pretty good idea when…

A newly ordained priest, fresh out of seminary, is a little nervous about his first day in the confessional. He asks the senior priest to sit in on his sessions. After the first…

A young bloke with his pants hanging half off his arse, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck; walked into the Centrelink to sign some paperwork.…