Tag: Jokes

A husband and wife were getting intimate in bed when suddenly the wife asked, “Honey, do you think we should try some new positions tonight?” The husband was excited and replied,…

His editor was always on a look out for the pun, which he always removed before sending the story on to be printed.One day, there was a gas explosion that killed ten people.The…

I’VE BEEN BANNED FROM TRACTOR SUPPLY.. Yesterday I was at my local TSC store buying a large bag of my dog’s food for my loyal livestock guard dog and was in the checkout, when a…

After a Beer Festival in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.Corona’s president sits down and says,“Señor, I would like the world’s best beer, a…

10. You take your paycheck to the bank and the teller bursts out in hysterical laughter. 9. The Red Cross calls and offers you emergency assistance. 8. Your only charge cards are…

In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. He practised every minute of his spare time, but he…

So David Is finally engaged, and is excited to show off his new bride.“Ma”, he said to his Mother,“I’m going to bring home three girls and I want you to guess which one is my…

A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. He decides to test it at dinner. He asks his son, “Son, where were you today during school hours?” “At school.” The robot…

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?” “Sand,” answered Juan.The guard…

A real estate salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water. “That customer's going to come back here…

A man buys a parrot, only to have it constantly insult him. He tries everything to make the parrot stop, but nothing works. Frustrated, the man puts the parrot in the freezer.…

A blonde arrived for her first golf lesson and the pro asked her to take a swing at a ball to see how she’d do. The blonde did so and completely duffed the shot. The pro said,…

A couple was watching a Discovery Channel special about an African bush tribe whose men all had manhood 24 inches long.When males reach a certain age, a string is tied around their…

A customer in a department store is offered a discounted suit by a salesperson. "But the arms and legs don't match," he says. "One arm and one leg is shorter…

A group of aeronautical engineering professors were invited to fly for free on a new aircraft that was just being introduced. As the door was closing and the plane was about to…

A crowded American Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He…

Q: How do you scare a man? A: Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice. Q: Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call. Who are…

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: “For Women Only.” Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to…

A snake goes to the optometrist one day. "I've been having a bit of trouble with my eyesight lately," he says. "And it's been making it very difficult for…

Two old men are sat on a bench at the park. A young, smoking hot girl runs past in a sports bra and a tiny pair of shorts. One of the men smiles and this brings the girl over. “Why…