Tag: Jokes

They go on their honeymoon to beautiful, picturesque Venice, Italy. After a day of sightseeing, they return to their hotel. He turns to his young bride and says “Honey, I’m tired…

As he finished his sentence, he turned around to find that the man had followed and was standing right behind him, so the boy quickly added, “and this gentleman kindly offered to…

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.  I took out my wallet,…

1. “If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up” said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. “Now then mister, why do you…

An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe with a full-grown emu behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.The truckie says, ‘A hamburger, chips and a coke,’ and turns…

Two hikers are walking up a mountain trail when a huge grizzly bear leaps out in front of them and roars. The first hiker gulps and sweats, frozen in fear; the other keeps his…

Late one evening a Marine pulled into a little town, only to find that every hotel room was taken. When he finally got to the last hotel, he pleaded to the manager, “You’ve got to…

The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used “Forgive Your Enemies” as his subject.After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies.About half held up their…

A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, “You Can Be The Man Of Your House.” He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, “From now on, you need to know…

One day a beggar knocked at the door of a house, and when a woman opened the door, asked her for alms.“I’ve nothing to give you,” said the woman. “Please go!”The woman, who was…

A tourist was driving down a deserted road when he came to a sign reading, "ROAD CLOSED. DO NOT ENTER." Looking at the road ahead, he thought it looked passable; assuming…

Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar talking about their professions.The first guy says, “I’m a YUPPIE. You know, young, urban, professional.”The second guy says, “I’m a…

Returning from her vacation, the young secretary was telling anyone who would listen about what a fun time she had. She then asked for two weeks leave in which to get married. “But…

A guy is in for a job interview, and the interviewer asks him“What would you consider to be your biggest weakness?”The guy replies“Honesty. I’m honest with everyone; I don’t know…

A young man was having some money problems, and needed $200 to get his car fixed and road-worthy again. But had run out of people to borrow from. So, he calls his parents via the…

A biker went to a bar and ordered a drink.As he sat sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him.She turned to the biker and asked, “Are you a real biker?”He replied,…

One day a city stockbroker decides he has just had too much.Too much stress, too much of the big city, too much everything.So he quits him job, gives up his apartment and rents out…

An Irish priest was transferred to Texas.Father O’Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of…

However, no matter what they do in bed, Laura never achieves orgasm.For months they try everything they can think of – different positions, different toys and some things that are…

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives. “Last night I made love to my…