Tag: Jokes

An old lady is speeding down a highway, when she spots a police officer with a speed gun. The officer signals for her to pull over, and then walks over and asks her with a smile:…

The CEO offered an employee a bonus of $10k or to double it and pass it on to the next employee. The first employee elected to double and pass it on. The CEO thought what a…

The computers in the cash counting room in one of Las Vegas’ biggest casinos all crashed, and the workers were forced to count and tally the money by writing down the totals on a…

My Friend Benny kept dropping his phone and cracking his screen. He went through a seemingly endless series of visits to cellphone screen replacement shops, and sometimes ending up…

"I see you were last employed by a psychiatrist," said the employer to the applicant. "Why did you leave?" "Well," she replied, "I just…

Upon arrival at the Pearly Gates, you are allowed one wish for anyone you left behind, back on earth. St. Peter explained this to a woman who had just recently arrived, and asked…

There was a trial in a small town in Texas, and the prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand, she was a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked,…

A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt uneasy, not knowing about all the new technology. A technician followed her…

A small boy in a farming town was leading a donkey passed by an army camp. A couple of soldiers wanted to have some fun with the boy. "What are you holding on to your brother…

A girlfriend and boyfriend walked into the girlfriend’s house and the girlfriend said to her mom, “Mom, me and my boyfriend are going up to my room” and the mom says, “Ok honey,…

This older lady handed her bank card to the teller and said “I would like to withdraw $10”. The teller told her “for withdrawals less than $100, please use the ATM. The old lady…

A lawyer had a jury trial in a very difficult business case. The client, who had attended the trial, was out of town when the jury came back with its decision, which was for the…

I’m 5’2, and my highest weight that I stayed at for a long time was 215. I got to 25, and realized I had never been in a relationship. I was too self conscious about my body, and…

A preacher challenged his wife and criticized her actions after finding a dress costing $250 in her bag. He said, "You know we are on an incredibly tight budget. The wife…

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of dice. She says, “I hope you…

Fred collected lots of money from trick-or-treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. "You should give that money to charity," said the sales girl.…

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been…

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of dice. She says, “I hope you…

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first…

My aunt's neighbor in New York had a beautiful black cat, named Felix, who spent his days outside and came indoors at night. One cool October evening, he disappeared. The…