Tag: Jokes

A manufacturer retired and moved to the country. He put on denims, boots, and a plaid shirt, and became a country gentleman. An old friend came to visit. The country gentleman…

Two beefy men came to my house to install some new floor covering in the kitchen. Once they had moved the stove and refrigerator out of the way, it was not long before the job was…

The cost of Halloween Candy is up 13.1% since last year, and to make matters worse, they're giving us less in every package. For example, Good 'n Plenty is now Not Bad…

The cowpoke at the dude ranch was getting the crowd to pick the type horse they wanted. "For those seasoned riders, we have fast horses. For you novice riders, we have slow…

You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet…

When we are married, we may be asked many questions by our significant other. Some of those questions are going to come and go and we don’t need to put much thought into them. On…

After our air conditioner broke down, we called for a serviceman to come and take a look at it. It turned out he was a high school classmate of my husband's, a man named Love.…

A young, freshly minted lieutenant was sent to Bosnia as part of the peace keeping mission. During a briefing on land mines, the captain asked for questions. Our intrepid solder…

A guy walks into a bar, orders a pint and a pork pie, downs his pint, puts the pork pie on his head and smashes it with his hand, then walks out, leaving the barman a little…

The young bullfrog, full of himself, went off to find a wife. He met a cute female porcupine, and quickly fell in love with her. He told his father about his love, and his father…

One day a guy walks in a bar and asks for five shots of whiskey.The bartender asks why. The guy says, “I found out my brother is lesbian.”The same guy, comes in the next day and…

While shopping at the mall, my husband and I became separated. I went out to the car, but realized I didn't have the keys. I went back into the store where we'd been to…

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a genie’s lamp.She picked it up and rubbed it. Lo-and-behold a genie appeared.The amazed woman asked if she got three…

A physics professor at a state university in Michigan was famous for his animated lectures. He was short and thin with wild white hair and an excited expression. In lectures, he…

… would open her front door, stand on the porch and scream, “Praise the Lord.”This infuriated her atheist neighbor who would always make sure to counter back, “There is no Lord.”…

"After a while, I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, and got my degree, so then I was Fred…

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew.She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s artwork. As she got to one little girl who was…

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a genie’s lamp.She picked it up and rubbed it. Lo-and-behold a genie appeared.The amazed woman asked if she got three…

Johnny plays nice for a bit but starts getting rough again. The neighbor says, “be nice Johnny or karma will get you.” Johnny again plays nice for a bit but starts getting rough…

sisters to sit on the sofa. The deaf sister said to her twin “WHAT DID HE SAY?” “WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!” said the other. “Now get a little closer together” said the…