Tag: Jokes

Our fourth grader celebrated his birthday on crutches, so he couldn’t carry the cupcakes into school without help. I asked our sixth-grader, Noah, to help his brother carry them…

During the ‘rush hour’ at Houston’s Hobby Airport, a flight was delayed due to a mechanical problem. Since they needed the gate for another flight, the aircraft was backed away…

My older brother, Lenny, loved to tell the story of what happened to our cocker spaniel, Inky. It seems Lenny was using an open bowl of gasoline to wash some parts for the…

Upon getting his own apartment, my brother-in-law received a hand mixer from his mother because of his fondness for mashed potatoes. Later, she asked him how the mixer was working…

An elderly gentleman was in the kitchen and had taken down the wall clock, placing it on the floor in front of him. Then he turned on the kitchen radio tuning in to a Hip-Hop…

Four-year-old Johnny was eating a hot dog when he dropped it on the floor. He quickly picked it up and was about to take another bite when his mom said, "No, Johnny, you…

A man was getting married to a doctor's daughter. At the wedding reception, the father of the bride stood to read his toast, which he had scribbled on a piece of scrap paper.…

There was a trial in a small town in Texas, and the prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand, she was a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked,…

Wife to husband: “What do you want for dinner tonight?” “Well, we could buy prepared crust and make our own pizza at home. Or we could go off our diets and get dinner from Dunkin.…

  The CIA is interviewing three potential agents — two men and a woman. For the final test, they bring one of the male candidates to a door and hand him a gun. “We must know that…

Mrs. Marble, a Sunday School teacher, was telling her students about the time when Lot's wife looked back at Sodom she turned into a pillar of salt. Little Percy interrupted.…

After a coworker had finished his English lecture and his class had filed out, a tenth grader stayed behind to confront him. “I don’t appreciate being singled out,” he told his…

One semester when my brother, Peter, attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis, an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter's portrait for a class…

During a parent-teacher conference, a mother insisted I shouldn’t have taken points off her daughter’s English paper for calling her subject Henry 8 instead of Henry VIII. “We have…

A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it…

A visitor to the North Pole was given the grand tour of the place by Santa Claus. The visitor suddenly exclaimed, "What a huge reindeer! But why doesn't it have any…

Computer novices may feel like they're alone these days, but the following call to IBM's help center show there are plenty of people out there who still are inching onto…

  He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest. His father replied, “Because when I’m buying horses, I…

  The CIA is interviewing three potential agents — two men and a woman. For the final test, they bring one of the male candidates to a door and hand him a gun. “We must know that…

As chaplain in a university residence hall, I am supposed to uphold all of the school rules, which include a ban on pets. That changed when a kitten adopted me. The freshmen in my…