Tag: Jokes

A nurse’s station at a hospital gets a phone call. The caller says, "I’m calling about Mr. Smith in room 403. How is he doing?” The nurse replies, “His blood pressure went up…

Rich old man had three younger friends that he wanted to do something nice for. He summoned them to his mansion. He told them he wanted to do something nice for each of them and…

One day during cooking class, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, was extolling her secrets for preparing perfect sauces. When she ordered us to the stoves to prepare our assignments, she…

Harry the Complainer and his wife happened to pass away on the same day and as they await their interview with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, they're approached by an angel.…

A huge guy marries a tiny girl, and at the wedding, one of his friends says to him,“How the hell do the two of you have lovemaking?”The big guy says, “I just sit there on a chair,…

Son: No, I don’t wanna go to school today!Mom: But you have to go to school.Son: But, I don’t wanna go to school.Mom: Give me three good reasons why you should stay home, and I…

"Teacher" was giving her class a little weekly talk on painting, illustrated by reproductions of famous pictures. "Sir Joshua Reynolds," she said, "was…

After the woman processes his answer, her eyes widen in disbelief. She laughs awkwardly, but the man remains stone-faced, letting the silence linger just long enough for her to…

Judge asks the defendant, “Why did you steal that car, Mr. Jones?” Mr. Jones looks down, “I just had to get to work for an important meeting.” The judge keeps asking, “Well why…

“Your boyfriend, then?” he continues. “No, not at all,” she says, nibbling away at his ear. “Is it your dad or your brother?” he inquires, hoping to be reassured. “No, no, no! You…

In an American history discussion group, the professor was trying to explain how societies ideal of beauty changes with time. "For example," he said, "take the 1921…

A husband was sitting on the sofa one afternoon when his wife came up behind him and whacked him on the head. The husband asked ‘What the hell was that for?’The wife replied…

Two women were drinking coffee and talking. One asked, "So why are you filing for divorce?" The second one replied, "He treats me like a dog." The first one…

A very sick woman on her sick bed said to her husband:Honey if I die, how long would it take you before you marry a another wife…?!The man replied: Till your grave becomes dry my…

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s License to verify my age.I looked in my…

While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to the receptionist's desk, the man sat…

My wife was complaining that I spend too much time on the computer, and not enough time with her. I decided to fix that by having a "movie night" with her. We watched…

A Cheerio sat at the bottom of a box of cereal, but he longed to get to the top of the box. He had heard at the top of the box, there was a huge party, and he wanted to be a part…

"What's that you're reading?" "A diary." "What's in it?" "I can't tell you that! A diary is a highly personal and…

A daddy was listening to his child say his prayer and he hear a "Dear Harold." At this, dad interrupted and said, "Wait a minute, why did you call God…