Tag: Jokes

A crew of highway maintenance workers was sent to repair some road signs that vandals had knocked down in a forested area. The first one they put back up was a symbol warning of a…

An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending so much of his free time in the local bar, so one night he took her along with him. "What'll you have?" he…

During my stay at an expensive hotel in New York City, I woke up in the middle of the night with an upset stomach. I called room service and ordered some soda crackers. When I…

Fred was about to go on a hunting trip when he noticed his 21 year old son Jack walking up to him. "Hey Dad," Jack asked. "Can I go hunting with you?" Fred had…

My wife and I have this running battle over the temperature setting for our air conditioning. She wants it set cooler. I want it set warmer. After a recent verbal exchange, she…

YOU MIGHT BE A PREACHER IF... - You've dreamed you were preaching, only to awaken and discover you were. - A church picnic is no picnic. - You wish people would die at more…

Mr. and Mrs. Morrison were on a safari in Africa. As they were walking through the jungle, a huge lion comes creeping out towards them, ready to pounce. "Shoot!" Mrs.…

In my job with a delivery company, I was getting directions to a customer's home. The woman very specifically said, "From the main road in the center of town go two…

Think About It... - Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone. - What if there were no hypothetical questions? - One nice thing about egotists: They…

Our 26-year-old son moved back home with the idea to stock away money to buy a condo. We never bothered asking how long he'd planned to stay, but I got a pretty good idea when…

I was working in my downtown flower shop, when I noticed a man grab a bouquet and head for the door without paying. By the time I got to the door, he was halfway down the block. As…

Joey would always come to school late and tell the teacher a big lie about what had made him late. Fed up with his lies, the teacher planned to tell Joey a bigger lie to teach him…

My neighbor, she’s single. She’s single, shapely, beautiful, and she lives right across the street. I watched her as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she…

After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, I eagerly asked my recruiter what I could expect from jump training. "Well," he said, "it's three weeks…

1. Salmonella won't be a concern. 2. Everyone will think your turkey is Cajun blackened. 3. Uninvited guests will think twice next year. 4. Your cheese broccoli lima bean…

Fresh out of seminary, a young pastor found an associate position at a prestigious church. One Sunday early on, he was given the opportunity to preach. He prepared diligently -…

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks. The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he…

After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report. Then, a detective drives them back to…

Passing an office building late one night, the lady saw a sign that said, "Press bell for night watchman." She did so, and after several minutes she heard the watchman…

- Fell out of the family tree. - Forgot to pay his brain bill. - Goes surfing in Nebraska. - Golf bag doesn't have a full set of irons. - Got into the gene pool when the…