How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? Border Collie: Just one. Then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code. Rottweiler: Make me! Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change the light…

In my job with a delivery company, I was getting directions to a customer's home. The woman very specifically said, "From the main road in the center of town go two lights. Look for the post…

A blonde is driving in her mini down the high way when she notices another blonde in a boat out in the middle of a corn field. The blonde in the boat was rowing the boat. The blonde was very…

Think About It... - Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone. - What if there were no hypothetical questions? - One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about…

  These three drunk guys decide to go to the joy house. The madam sees them coming and tells the girls to just throw some blow up dolls in the rooms and turn the lights out. The guys are so drunk the…

A man phones his wife and asks her: “Honey I’ve been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get the promotion. So could you please pack enough…

Three scruffy-looking bikers entered the truck stop where an elderly man was dining. The first biker chuckled and sat down at the counter as they passed the elderly man after pushing his cigarette…

Mom: Time to wake up and go to school! Son: No, I don’t wanna go to school today! Mom: But you have to go to school. Son: But, I don’t wanna go to school. Mom: Give me three good reasons why you…

  A man walks into an antique store and starts looking around. Suddenly, he gazes upon the most stunning bronze statue of a Siamese cat. He asks the store owner how much he wants for the statue. The…

Our 26-year-old son moved back home with the idea to stock away money to buy a condo. We never bothered asking how long he'd planned to stay, but I got a pretty good idea when I walked into his…

A newly ordained priest, fresh out of seminary, is a little nervous about his first day in the confessional. He asks the senior priest to sit in on his sessions. After the first few, the older priest…

A young bloke with his pants hanging half off his arse, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck; walked into the Centrelink to sign some paperwork. He marched up to the…

A man returns home early from work one afternoon to find his wife spread out on the bed, puffing and panting.“What are you doing?” the man inquires. “Err,” she stammers back. “I… um… I think I’m…

I was working in my downtown flower shop, when I noticed a man grab a bouquet and head for the door without paying. By the time I got to the door, he was halfway down the block. As I ran after him, I…

After giving up three runs in the top of the first, the manager runs out of the dugout to have a word with his rookie pitcher. The manager says, “Son, I think I’ve figured out what your problem is.…