While working as a mall Santa, I had many children ask for electric trains. "If you get a train," I would tell each one, "you know your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that…

One day the tortoise met the elephant, who trumpeted, “Out of my way, you weakling – I might step on you!”. The tortoise was not afraid… One day the tortoise met the elephant, who trumpeted, “Out of…

“They’re not very smart, but they’re nice, and I’m not sure whether to let them in or not.”God says, “Well we do have standards here.  Ask them some simple questions, if they get them right, let them…

Sharing is caring!A camel dealer reached a village to sell fine animals at a very good price.Everyone bought one, except Mr. Hoosep.Some time later, the village received a visit from another dealer,…

1. Avoid alliteration. Always. 2. Be more or less specific. 3. Employ the vernacular. 4. Contractions aren't necessary. 5. One should never generalize. 6. Remember to never split an infinitive.…

A married couple was having a conversation. The husband asked his wife: “If I ever win the lottery, what would you do?” The wife’s respond was: “I would take half and leave you!” The husband said:…

THE JOKE The population of this country is 327 million. 76 million are retired. That leaves 251 million to do the work. There are 48 million people who are permanently disabled. Which leaves 203…

A man in his mid forties bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive.The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to see what…

  What topics do men discuss when fishing? Sports or other topics they find intriguing in their lives are frequently discussed. However, if the men are married, one of the topics they would likely…

A little guy sat in a cafe one day eating his lunch.Three Hells Angels walked into the cafe, looked around, and decided to have some fun with the little guy.They sat at his table.One of them took his…

There was this old woman who heard a song called “Two Lips and Seven Kisses.” She called up information after hearing the song on the radio to get the name of the record company.In dialing, she…

Jessie is telling Sam about the new mechanic in the neighborhood. "I'm telling you Sam, that's a mechanic you can trust!" "Really?" "Oh yeah, I thought he was going…