Iโm 5โ2, and my highest weight that I stayed at for a long time was 215.
I got to 25, and realized I had never been in a relationship.
I was too self conscious about my body, and no one really hit on me, anyway.
Iโd get things like โbut youโre pretty regardless!
โ
And that was such a weird feeling of โoh good, Iโm glad Iโm not ugly?โ Mixed with โoh wow, thereโs something really bad about meโ.
I was fat, but I knew myself, I was (mostly) comfortable, I was generally happy, I was sure of myself.
Then, I lost 100 pounds.
I weigh between 115-120 now.
What gets me is how differently Iโm treated.
After 70 pounds lost, in one month I had gotten hit on more times that Iโve probably even interacted with a man in my life.
I thought it was a fluke.
At my job today, a guy came in who I recognized has been coming to our town for the past couple years on vacation.
Incredibly cute, really nice and personable.
When he used to come in, he didnโt really look at me twice, and I would think โif only I was skinny, I might be worth looking atโ.
Well, todayโฆ today he looked.
I could tell he didnโt even recognize me (not that Iโd expect him to, weight loss or not) but then after he left, he came back an hour later to ask me out on a date.
This should have made me happy.
I canโt tell you how many times Iโve been tongue tied around this guy.
I should have been excited.
Instead, I felt nothing and politely declined.
It was only after, as I was sitting at my desk, that I got incredibly sad.
I became sad about how much your appearance can affect how people see you.