Joke #1:
The $800 Shower Interruption
A woman was getting out of the shower when she heard the doorbell ring.
Her husband was going to shower, so she quickly grabbed a towel, wrapped it around herself, and descended the stairs to open the door.
She was greeted by Bob, the neighbor who apparently missed the memo on appropriate visiting hours.
Before she could ask what brought him to her doorstep, he said something that sounded too good to be true.
“I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.”
Now, the quick-thinking woman did some rapid mental math.
On the one hand, dignity.
On the other, $800.
In no time, the towel hit the floor, and the woman stood in front of Bob without anything on.
Bob, true to his word (and probably wondering if he should’ve started the bidding lower), handed over the cash and left.
The woman closed the door, picked up the towel, and wrapped it around herself again before returning to her room.
Back upstairs, her husband, blissfully unaware of the impromptu peep show, asked about the visitor.
“Who was that?”
“It was Bob, the next-door neighbor.”
“Great!
” he said.
“Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Or, in simpler terms:
Always know the full details of a deal before you strip down to the essentials!
Joke #2:
The Genie’s Corporate Retreat Gone Wrong
It was an ordinary day for our intrepid trio:
a sales rep, an administration clerk, and their manager.
They were on their way to lunch when fate intervened in the form of a dusty old lamp.
Now, most people would’ve walked right past it, but our heroes weren’t most people.
They decided to rub it and were shocked to see a genie pop out of it.
This wasn’t your average, run-of-the-mill genie.
No, this was a genie with a strict one-wish-per-person policy.
The administration clerk, showcasing the lightning-fast decision-making skills that had kept her in an entry-level position for years, jumped in first.
“I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world!
”
Poof!
She vanished, leaving behind only the faint scent of coconut sunscreen and poor life choices.
The sales rep went next.
“I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Piña Coladas, and the love of my life!
”
Poof!
He too disappeared, leaving behind a cloud of desperation and the lingering question of who would cover his afternoon calls.
Finally, it was the manager’s turn.
“I want those two back in the office after lunch!
”
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Joke #3:
A Testament to Misinterpretation
Once upon a time, a priest offered a lift to a nun, and she hopped in.
As they cruised along, the nun crossed her legs, causing her gown to reveal more than the usual abundance of ankle.
The priest, suddenly remembering he was human under that collar, nearly turned their holy roller into a highway disaster.
After regaining control of both the car and his composure, the priest decided to test the waters of temptation.
He stealthily slid his hand up the nun’s leg.
The nun calmly said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?”
The priest quickly pulled his hand back.
However, he couldn’t resist for too long.
Once again, his hand embarked on its unholy pilgrimage up her leg.
And once again, the nun dropped the biblical breadcrumb:
“Father, remember Psalm 129?”
“Sorry sister,” the priest said.
Upon reaching their destinations, the nun went on her merry way.
Meanwhile, the priest raced to look up Psalm 129.
And there it was, in black and white:
“Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
