There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match.
As he went on into college he continued undefeated.
He became a national icon and symbol of American strength.
News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and unstoppable.
As each wrestlers legends grew, a match was set up between the two, America versus Russia.
The match would be held in Texas.
John began training immediately.
Every day his coach would tell him, โThis Russian has a move called the Mongolian Death Grip.โ
โNo one has ever escaped the Mongolian Death Grip.
DO NOT let him get you in the Mongolian Death Grip!
โ
The day of the match finally came.
Just before each wrestler stepped onto the mat in front of the capacity crowd, the coach once again said,
โWhatever you do, do not let him get you in the Mongolian death grip.
No one has ever escaped the Mongolian death grip.โ
Four seconds into the match, the Russian had the American in the Mongolian Death Grip.
The coach buried his face into his hands and cursed John for not listening to his advice.
All of a sudden he heard the crowd erupt in a chant of, โUSA!
USA!
USA!
โ
He looked up and saw the Russian pinned by John.
The coach ran out to meet John and embarrassingly told him, โI didnโt seeโฆ Once he had you in the Mongolian Death Grip I looked away.โ
โHow in the world did you get out of the Mongolian death grip?โ
With heavy breath, John told him, โWell coach, that Russian grabbed me and twisted my body in ways I never imagined possible.โ
โI was wincing in pain when I opened my eyes, and right in front of me were two testicles.โ
โSo I bit them.โ
โWhat?!
โ said the coach, โJohn I donโt think that is legal.
You could be disqualified.โ
โI donโt know about that coach.
But I can tell you one thing,โฆโ
โYou ainโt got no idea how strong you are until you bite your own balls!
โ
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