HumorJokes

Joke: Am I Dead

All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a cowl standing in front of his bed.

“What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?

and who are you?” he asked.

“This is not your bedroom,” the man replied, “I am St.

Peter, and you are in heaven.” “WHAT!

??

Are you saying I’m dead?

I don’t want to die – I’m too young.” said Harry.

“If I’m dead, I want you to send me back immediately.”

“It’s not that easy”, said St.Peter, “you can only return as a dog or a hen.

You can choose on your own.”

Harry thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life.

Running around with a rooster can’t be that bad.

“I want to return as a hen.” Harry replied.

And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered.

But, man, now “he” felt like the rear end was gonna blow, then along came the rooster.

“Hey, you must be the new hen on the farm.” he said.

“How does it feel?” “Well, it’s OK I guess, but it feels like my rear end is blowing up.” “Oh that!

” said the rooster.

“That’s only the ovulation going on.

Have you never laid an egg before?” “No, how do I do that?” Harry asked.

“Cluck twice, and then you push all you can.” Harry clucked twice, and pushed more than he was good for, and then ‘Plop’ and an egg was on the ground.

“Wow” Harry said, “that felt really good!

” So he clucked again and squeezed – and you better believe that there was yet another egg on the ground.

The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout:

“Harry, for God’s sake wake up, you’re shitting all over the bed!

Have you read these?

Greetings! I'm Lisa Adams, the face behind a website that's all about laughter and exploration. My website is a place where you'll find funny pictures, amusing videos, and interesting articles/news about our world. Join me for a daily dose…

Related Posts

Joke: Highway Repairs

A crew of highway maintenance workers was sent to repair some road signs that vandals had knocked down in a forested area. The first one they put back up was a symbol warning of a…

Joke: Room Service

During my stay at an expensive hotel in New York City, I woke up in the middle of the night with an upset stomach. I called room service and ordered some soda crackers. When I…

Joke: Deer Me

Fred was about to go on a hunting trip when he noticed his 21 year old son Jack walking up to him. "Hey Dad," Jack asked. "Can I go hunting with you?" Fred had…

Joke: Temperature Rising

My wife and I have this running battle over the temperature setting for our air conditioning. She wants it set cooler. I want it set warmer. After a recent verbal exchange, she…