Jokes

Three old men were sitting on a bench when a reporter approached them. “I wonder if you three would be willing to do an interview and tell me your secret to…

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the…

An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup when the doctor asked how he was feeling. “I’ve never been better!” he boasted. “I’ve got an 18 year old bride…

A attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she…

A group of male friends, all turning 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons because the…

Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the balcony. “Help, help!” yells one of the blondes. “Help us, help us!” yells the other. …

Guy visits his favourite DominatrixHe puts his money on the bedside table and says “I’ve been bad, mistress. I need to be punished.”She makes him strip and bend…

A boss says to his secretary we are travelling abroad for the week so make arrangements. The secretary makes call to her husband, “My boss and i will be…

A little boy wanted a bicycle for Christmas. His mother said she didn’t have enough money to buy him a new bike but suggested that if he wrote to Jesus…

A 70-year-old man has never been married. One day, he meets a beautiful 17-year-old girl, and it is love at first sight. They get married and go to Florida for…

Bell 2 rings, we slide down the pole; Bell 3 rings, we’re on the trucks. From now on, we’re going to run this house the same way. When I say Bell 1, I want you…

Home Funny A man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed man drinks a shot of whiskey every night before bed. After years of this, the wife wants him to…

A fireman comes home from work one day and tells his wife, “We have a wonderful system at the fire station: Bell 1 rings, we put on… A little boy wanted a…

His workmates realized that they would have to be the ones to inform his widow of his passing. They trooped over to Patrick’s cottage at the end of their…

A lawyer is talking to his client.He says, “I have good news and bad news.” The client says, “I could use some good news. What is it?”“Your ex-wife will not…

A attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she…

A rabbit walks into a grocery store. He bangs his paws on the counter and yells “a pound of carrots!” The shopkeeper says “I’ll get you the carrots, but please…

Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the balcony. “Help, help!” yells one of the blondes. “Help us, help us!” yells the other.…

He sits down at the counter, orders a cup of coffee, and starts looking at the menu. He sees broccoli and cheese soup and asks the waitress if it’s any good.She…

After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter. Unable to find it, he asked…