Jokes

An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up…

While ferrying workers back and forth from our offshore oil rig, the helicopter lost power and went down. Fortunately, it landed safely in a lake. Struggling to…

Two men sit drinking in the bar at the top of the Empire State Building. One turns to the other and says, “You know, last week I discovered that if you jump…

On their first date, a man asked his companion if she’d like a drink with dinner. “Oh, no, what would I tell my Sunday school class?” she said. Later, he…

A pastor, who shall we say was “humor impaired,” attended a conference to help encourage and better equip pastors for their ministry. Among the speakers were…

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three…

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. “Well,” he…

Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, “What a beautiful night. Look at that moon!” The other drunk stops and looks at his drunk friend.…

A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet…

A blonde has failed the written driving test four times. At the fifth attempt, she was determined to pass: But the test had the same question. “You are driving…

A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk. He staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender for a…

Two blonde sisters, Abby and Amy went fishing and decided to rent a boat on a lake. After fishing for hours at various spots and catching nothing, they decided…

The hitting coach for the Cubs enters the manager’s office. “Skipper,” he says, “I’ve got some good news and some bad news.” “What’s the good news?” the manager…

An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic. It flies consistently at 800 km/h in 30,000 feet, when suddenly a Eurofighter with Tempo Mach 2 appears. The…

A couple are rushing into the hospital because the wife is going into labor. As they walk, a doctor says to them that he has invented a machine that splits the…

Dad had the opportunity to buy his medications directly from the pharmacy company. “Here is your prescription sir, that will be $515 dollars.” Dad was a bit…

The census taker is driving out in the boondocks of Arkansas on assignment and pulls up in front of a small farm. He approaches an old farmer rocking in his…

A jobless man applied for the position of ‘office boy’ at a very big company. The employer interviewed him, then a test: clean the floor. “You are hired.” – the…

A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn’t seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon an old gentleman…

Two West Virginia rednecks were out hunting, and as they were walking along, they came upon a huge hole in the ground. They approached it and were amazed at its…