Jokes

A man had recently moved and was filling out forms at his local police station: Q: Has your driver's license ever been suspended or revoked? "No,…

A nurse’s station at a hospital gets a phone call. The caller says, "I’m calling about Mr. Smith in room 403. How is he doing?” The nurse replies, “His…

Rich old man had three younger friends that he wanted to do something nice for. He summoned them to his mansion. He told them he wanted to do something nice for…

One day during cooking class, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, was extolling her secrets for preparing perfect sauces. When she ordered us to the stoves to prepare our…

Harry the Complainer and his wife happened to pass away on the same day and as they await their interview with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, they're…

A huge guy marries a tiny girl, and at the wedding, one of his friends says to him,“How the hell do the two of you have lovemaking?”The big guy says, “I just…

Son: No, I don’t wanna go to school today!Mom: But you have to go to school.Son: But, I don’t wanna go to school.Mom: Give me three good reasons why you should…

"Teacher" was giving her class a little weekly talk on painting, illustrated by reproductions of famous pictures. "Sir Joshua Reynolds," she…

After the woman processes his answer, her eyes widen in disbelief. She laughs awkwardly, but the man remains stone-faced, letting the silence linger just long…

Judge asks the defendant, “Why did you steal that car, Mr. Jones?” Mr. Jones looks down, “I just had to get to work for an important meeting.” The judge keeps…

“Your boyfriend, then?” he continues. “No, not at all,” she says, nibbling away at his ear. “Is it your dad or your brother?” he inquires, hoping to be…

In an American history discussion group, the professor was trying to explain how societies ideal of beauty changes with time. "For example," he said,…

A husband was sitting on the sofa one afternoon when his wife came up behind him and whacked him on the head. The husband asked ‘What the hell was that for?’The…

Two women were drinking coffee and talking. One asked, "So why are you filing for divorce?" The second one replied, "He treats me like a…

A very sick woman on her sick bed said to her husband:Honey if I die, how long would it take you before you marry a another wife…?!The man replied: Till your…

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s License to verify my…

While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went to the…

My wife was complaining that I spend too much time on the computer, and not enough time with her. I decided to fix that by having a "movie night" with…

A Cheerio sat at the bottom of a box of cereal, but he longed to get to the top of the box. He had heard at the top of the box, there was a huge party, and he…

"What's that you're reading?" "A diary." "What's in it?" "I can't tell you that! A diary is a highly…