Jokes

A boy comes back from school, disappointed, because he got a 0 on a geography exam.“The teacher gave me a zero because I couldn’t answer a question on…

While working as a mall Santa, I had many children ask for electric trains. "If you get a train," I would tell each one, "you know your dad is…

One day the tortoise met the elephant, who trumpeted, “Out of my way, you weakling – I might step on you!”. The tortoise was not afraid… One day the tortoise…

“They’re not very smart, but they’re nice, and I’m not sure whether to let them in or not.”God says, “Well we do have standards here.  Ask them some simple…

Sharing is caring!A camel dealer reached a village to sell fine animals at a very good price.Everyone bought one, except Mr. Hoosep.Some time later, the village…

1. Avoid alliteration. Always. 2. Be more or less specific. 3. Employ the vernacular. 4. Contractions aren't necessary. 5. One should never generalize. 6.…

A married couple was having a conversation. The husband asked his wife: “If I ever win the lottery, what would you do?” The wife’s respond was: “I would take…

THE JOKE The population of this country is 327 million. 76 million are retired. That leaves 251 million to do the work. There are 48 million people who are…

A man in his mid forties bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive.The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left…

  What topics do men discuss when fishing? Sports or other topics they find intriguing in their lives are frequently discussed. However, if the men are married,…

A little guy sat in a cafe one day eating his lunch.Three Hells Angels walked into the cafe, looked around, and decided to have some fun with the little…

There was this old woman who heard a song called “Two Lips and Seven Kisses.” She called up information after hearing the song on the radio to get the name of…

Jessie is telling Sam about the new mechanic in the neighborhood. "I'm telling you Sam, that's a mechanic you can trust!"…

  A blonde goes into a store and sees a shiny object on the shelf. She asks the clerk, “What is that shiny object? “The clerk replies, “That is a thermos. “The…

A man decided to join a monastery where you were only allowed to say two words every 10 years.After 10 years in the monastery the head monk summons’ him and…

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked,“What are the grounds for your divorce?” She replied,“About four acres and a nice…

    A woman goes to her boyfriend’s parents’ house for dinner. This is tobe her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and…

As the final moment approaches, he gathers all his strength and whispers, “I must tell you my greatest secret.”His family members are all ears, urging him to go…

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.“You’ll get your chance in court.” said the…

A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students, who was being extremely rude in class… So, one day she asked Little Johnny what his problem…