Jokes

They all arrive at the Pearly Gates and Saint Peter says “Let me ask you a question before admitting you to heaven.” To the first he says “My son, while on…

My wife and I have this running battle over the temperature setting for our air conditioning. She wants it set cooler. I want it set warmer. After a recent…

Late one evening a Marine pulled into a little town, only to find that every hotel room was taken. When he finally got to the last hotel, he pleaded to the…

Joe is on his last day at work as a mailman. He receives many thank-you cards and monetary gifts along his route. When he gets to the very last house, he is…

A student asked the teacher, “What is love?” The teacher said, “In order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come…

YOU MIGHT BE A PREACHER IF... - You've dreamed you were preaching, only to awaken and discover you were. - A church picnic is no picnic. - You wish people…

Mr. and Mrs. Morrison were on a safari in Africa. As they were walking through the jungle, a huge lion comes creeping out towards them, ready to pounce.…

One evening a teenage daughter and her mother were out shopping when they stopped to make a purchase. The young girl greeted the cashier with only a “Hi,” then…

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A pretty, young, student nurse appears to give him a partial…

In my job with a delivery company, I was getting directions to a customer's home. The woman very specifically said, "From the main road in the center…

A man is driving down the highway when he sees a shipping truck wrecked on the side of the road, and 25 penguins waddling around outside it. He pulls over and…

A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the condom display. Boy: “Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?”Dad: “Those are for the high-schoolers for…

Think About It... - Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone. - What if there were no hypothetical questions? - One nice thing about…

A deaf man enters a pharmacy to buy condoms and tries to explain what he wants with sign language. The pharmacist doesn’t understand anything so the deaf man…

A man and a woman were dating.She being of a religious nature had held back the worldly pleasure that he wanted from her so bad. In fact, he had never even seen…

A blonde was sick and tired of people making fun of her for being a blonde, so she decided to hang herself. A couple minutes later two men walk by and see her…

Two old ladies are standing at a bus station and one of them is smoking. Suddenly it starts raining so the smoking one takes out a condom from her purse, cuts…

A man and his wife are out driving, and get pulled over by a police officer.The husband, who is the one behind the wheel, asks, “What’s the problem,…

Our 26-year-old son moved back home with the idea to stock away money to buy a condo. We never bothered asking how long he'd planned to stay, but I got a…

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a genie’s lamp.She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo and behold – a genie appeared.The amazed woman…