Jokes

A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk…

A young woman was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black negligee and carefully place it in her suitcase so it…

A young nurse is watching an operation for the first time. "Excuse me, please," she asks the doctor. "But what are you doing?" "This…

Well, for example, the other day, Bev my wife and I went into town and visited a shop. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went…

A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy. "Where in…

A man and his wife were working in their garden one day. The man looks over at his wife and says: “Your butt is getting really big I mean really big. I bet your…

A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, “Hello. My name is…

A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question. "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?" A hand shot up in the air. "He is an…

Sharing is caring! After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing…

Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen. A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off? A: Pick it up…

A very distinguished lady was on a plane arriving from Switzerland.She found herself seated next to a nice priest whom she asked: “Excuse me Father, could I ask…

Dan married a woman with an identical twin. Less than a year later, he was in court filing for a divorce. “Tell the court why you want a divorce,” said the…

An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his IRS agent and his Lawyer (both church members), to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered…

A census taker in a rural area went up to a farmhouse and knocked. When an old woman came to the door, he asked her how many children she had and their ages.…

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: “For Women Only.” Since they are without their boyfriends and…

There is that married couple and it was almost midnight. The husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water with an evil smile on his…

1. Dial 911 immediately. 2. Open the curtains to see if anything has changed over the past 2 years. 3. You mean there's something else to do? 4. Threaten…

A group of 40 year old girlfriends discussed where they should meet for dinner…. Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant…

At the Doctor's Clinic... Patient: Ooh! Doctor, when will this stomach ache go? Doctor: Don't worry, Just follow this prescription and you will get…

A man walks into a bar and says “I’m here to drink my troubles away!” “Well mister, you’ve come to the right place. Welcome” says the bartender, “What will it…