Jokes

My girlfriends name is Wendy and I had it tattooed on my unit.When it’s flaccid you can only see WY. On a trip to the Caribbean I went to the bathroom and was…

A blonde got caught in a blizzard… It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little blonde got off work. She made…

A girl was having an affair while her father was at work.One day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her father’s car pull into the…

One day a man passed by a farm and saw a beautiful horse. Hoping to buy the animal, he said to the farmer: "I think your horse looks pretty good, so…

There’s a woman sitting in the vets with her small dog. A young girl, with a great Dane comes in and sits beside her. As they are waiting they strike up a…

The Swede’s wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball,a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her distinct lack of underwear.…

A schoolteacher used to take a short nap every afternoon. When his pupils asked him why he did so, he said that he went to dreamland to meet ancient sages.One…

The husband comes home and worried because he has a scratch on his chest caused by a fingernail from his mistress, opens the door seeing the cat asleep on the…

A New York businessman buys a newspaper, glances at the front page, throws it away. Next day, he does the same thing. This goes on for days. Eventually, the…

Three women worked in the same office with the same boss.Every day, the boss left work early. One day, the women decided that when the boss left, they would…

A lawyer is talking to his client.He says, “I have good news and bad news.” The client says, “I could use some good news. What is it?”“Your ex-wife will not…

A rabbit walks into a grocery store. He bangs his paws on the counter and yells “a pound of carrots!” The shopkeeper says “I’ll get you the carrots, but please…

In search of a new shower for our home, my wife and I went to a bathroom-supply store. We discussed our needs with a young saleswoman. Since it was near closing…

He sits down at the counter, orders a cup of coffee, and starts looking at the menu. He sees broccoli and cheese soup and asks the waitress if it’s any good.She…

A schoolteacher used to take a short nap every afternoon. When his pupils asked him why he did so, he said that he went to dreamland to meet ancient sages.One…

Boarding the aircraft for the first time, Judy settled into a window seat in the quietest part of the plane. A man came over and politely said,…

A Mexican restaurant I pulled up to looked great. Only one problem - it wasn't open. So I jotted down the name for another day. Just then, a man came out…

A wife goes on a retreat for work. When she returns, she finds a pair of panties in her dresser that do not belong to her. Furious, she questions her husband.…

A young boy stopped by the corner grocery store and read his list to the clerk: “10 pounds if sugar at 1.25 a pound; 4 pounds of coffee beans at 1.50 a pound; 2…

A blonde was sitting in the window seat on a plane when a young business executive sat down in the aisle seat beside the beautiful young girl. After several…