Jokes

Three scruffy-looking bikers entered the truck stop where an elderly man was dining. The first biker chuckled and sat down at the counter as they passed the…

Mom: Time to wake up and go to school! Son: No, I don’t wanna go to school today! Mom: But you have to go to school. Son: But, I don’t wanna go to school. Mom:…

  A man walks into an antique store and starts looking around. Suddenly, he gazes upon the most stunning bronze statue of a Siamese cat. He asks the store owner…

Our 26-year-old son moved back home with the idea to stock away money to buy a condo. We never bothered asking how long he'd planned to stay, but I got a…

A newly ordained priest, fresh out of seminary, is a little nervous about his first day in the confessional. He asks the senior priest to sit in on his…

A young bloke with his pants hanging half off his arse, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck; walked into the Centrelink to…

A man returns home early from work one afternoon to find his wife spread out on the bed, puffing and panting.“What are you doing?” the man inquires. “Err,” she…

I was working in my downtown flower shop, when I noticed a man grab a bouquet and head for the door without paying. By the time I got to the door, he was…

After giving up three runs in the top of the first, the manager runs out of the dugout to have a word with his rookie pitcher. The manager says, “Son, I think…

An old man went to the college that he went to when he was a youth. He knocked on room number 3 of the hostel and said: “May I come in. I lived in this very…

A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.”…

A young woman, (a new teacher) was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the…

Joey would always come to school late and tell the teacher a big lie about what had made him late. Fed up with his lies, the teacher planned to tell Joey a…

  The CIA is interviewing three potential agents — two men and a woman. For the final test, they bring one of the male candidates to a…   He watched as his…

My neighbor, she’s single. She’s single, shapely, beautiful, and she lives right across the street. I watched her as she got home from work this evening. I was…

  The CIA is interviewing three potential agents — two men and a woman. For the final test, they bring one of the male candidates to a…   He watched as his…

After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, I eagerly asked my recruiter what I could expect from jump training. "Well," he said, "it's…

Everybody is entitled to their own opinion but that doesn’t mean that they have to force that opinion on others. Sometimes, however, there are people who want…

For his birthday, the little boy asked for a 10 speed mountain bike… … but his Father explained that with the boys’ Mother just losing her job, and their…

1. Salmonella won't be a concern. 2. Everyone will think your turkey is Cajun blackened. 3. Uninvited guests will think twice next year. 4. Your cheese…