Jokes

A man sees a job advert published on a building site, "Handy man wanted; apply within." The man goes to speak to the foreman and applies. Foreman:…

Little Johnny walks in on his mother in the bathtub. He asks his mother what is the big fuzzy patch below her bellybutton. She replies, “A bush.” The next day…

The doctor and his wife were playing golf at the club and she drove a 300 yard tee shot straight down the fairway.The doctor said Wow I have never seen you play…

An 85 years old lady was waiting for her husband at the bar in Harpoon Harry’s. Suddenly, a very handsome man enters and sits down a few seats away. The man is…

A guy asked a girl in a university library: “Do you mind if I sit beside you?”The girl replied with a loud voice: “I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!”All…

Top 5 Things We're Hoping A.I. Does For Us: Call balls and strikes. Seriously. Is it in the square, or not? Explain how my wife can always be wrong. Defend…

We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big…

Three Scotsmen were sitting in a bar together.When I die, said the old Scot, I would like one of you to pour a bottle of the best Scottish whisky over my…

A priest and a nun are having a tennis match…The priest is very competitive, but can’t seem to bring his A-game to the nun who is clearly better. After a volley…

A police officer pulls over an elderly couple He walks up to the driver’s side window and asks the husband for his license and registration.The wife, hard of…

The owner of a golf course was confused about paying a bill,So he asked his blonde secretary for some mathematical help.“If I were to give you $20,000, minus…

Little Johnny's mother is making lunch when Johnny comes in from playing outside, covered in dirt. "Johnny, you need to clean up for dinner," his…

So David Is finally engaged, and is excited to show off his new bride. “Ma”, he said to his Mother, “I’m going to bring home three girls and I want you to guess…

A young farm girl answers the door and sees an older neighbor there.Girl: “My father isn’t home, but I know what you want and I can help you.You want our bull…

know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place.”“That’s a great idea!” says Einstein. “Let’s switch places then!” So they switch clothes…

As a member of the Marine Corps, a man was stationed at Twenty-Nine Palms Base in California. Among those serving there was a private who was determined not to…

A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn’t seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon an old gentleman…

One day a child at my four-year-old's preschool class told her classmates that she needed a 'damp towel.' Some of the other kids thought she said…

One day a blonde, brunette, and a redhead were hiking when they came across a cliff. There was no bridge and they couldn’t think of anyother way to get across…

A young female teacher, good looking and wearing a short and tight skirt, was giving an assignment to her class one day. It was a big assignment, so she started…