Jokes

A doctor just finishes his check-up with a man. Dr: I’ve got good new and bad news. Which do you want to hear first? Patient: I guess the bad news. Dr: Well,…

A man and his wife are at a high school reunion… … and the husband keeps staring at a gorgeous drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table, glass after…

A sales rep for a publisher of accounting reference materials was talking to a customer about a guide to assist with preparing for an audit. The way she…

When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big boobs. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend with big boobs, but there was no passion, so I…

Nothing looks good on me anymore,” wailed a customer modeling an outfit in front of the department store’s mirror. “Nonsense, ma’am,” soothed the salesclerk.…

The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the…

The air traffic controller, working a busy pattern, told the 727 on downwind to make a three-sixty (usually done to provide spacing between aircraft). The pilot…

A beautiful woman who had a golden little plane necklace was seated next to a guy on the plane. During the flight all the time he was gazing at the necklace.…

A long time ago, a baker and a farmer lived in the same small English village. These two men had a friendly arrangement in place, where the farmer would sell a…

A woman, searching for a job, inquired about the benefits. The Personnel Manager informed her they had group health and life insurance, but the costs were…

A man who drank alot was told by his wife “If you ever come home drunk again, I’m going to leave you”. Regardless, that night he went out to a pub and drank a…

A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception.She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said,…

A beautiful woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. The woman seductively…

A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine.‘What was that for?’ he asked.‘That…

A teacher gave her class of second graders a lesson on the magnet and what it does. The next day in a written test, she included this question: "My full…

A blonde walks into a store to buy a new Television She looks around for a while and finds the perfect TV for herself She approaches the salesman and says “I…

So an older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side.He told the jeweler he was looking for a…

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He…

A guy gets home late one night and his wife says,“where the hell have you been?”“I was out getting a tattoo.”“A tattoo?What kind of tattoo did you get?”“I got a…

A man sees a job advert published on a building site, "Handy man wanted; apply within." The man goes to speak to the foreman and applies. Foreman:…