Jokes

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When an eel bites your thigh and you bleed out and die, that’s a moray. When you’re smashed with…

A married CEO is having an affair with his secretary. They finish up, and he is getting dressed. She says, “Is there anything else I can help you with tonight?”…

Two man decide to go duck hunting.Neither one of them has ever been duck hunting before and after several hours they still haven’t bagged any.One hunter looks…

Interrupted by disapproving looks from other patrons. The dimly lit bar seemed to hold its breath as it calmly looked into the cyclist’s eyes. “Dude, I loved…

A drunken Irishman is driving through the city of Dublin and his car is weaving violently all over the road.A cop pulls him over.“So,” says the cop to the…

Apparently, independent studies have discovered that the internet is an addictive agent which, they say, is just as powerful as drugs or alcohol. However,…

On his first day on the job, the trainee dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone: “Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!” The voice from the other side…

Little Johnny had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he’d make a deal…

Principal: "Billy, is it true that you called the teacher a big meanie?" Billy: "Yes I did." Principal: "And did you call her a wicked…

A bus full of nuns crashes and they all die and go to the pearly gates. There they are met by St Peter. St Peter asks the first nun: “Sister, have you ever…

Some geological engineers from the U.S.G.S. recently surveyed some property in New England and found that in a certain area, the New Hampshire and Maine border…

A girlfriend and boyfriend walked into the girlfriend’s house and the girlfriend said to her mom, “Mom, me and my boyfriend are going up to my room”… It was…

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their…

After a day of grueling maneuvers under the blazing Texas sun, the platoon stood in front of the barracks. "All right, maggots, think about this,"…

A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk…

The Committee for the Reduction of Redundancy and the Anti-proliferation of Repetition has decided not to meet until they have their first meeting and thus will…

A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbour of his. he neighbour…

One evening a teenage daughter and her mother were out shopping when they stopped to make a purchase. The young girl greeted the cashier with only a “Hi,” then…

I come from a large family, five sisters and three brothers. My sisters and I were looking through the family photo album one day. Picture after picture, we…

A guy goes on to a ship to sail (and work) but he notices no women on board.so he runs to the captian Guy: capt. capt.! theres no women on borad what will be do…