Jokes

A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. He decides to test it at dinner. He asks his son, “Son, where were you today during school hours?”…

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?” “Sand,”…

A real estate salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water. “That customer's…

A man buys a parrot, only to have it constantly insult him. He tries everything to make the parrot stop, but nothing works. Frustrated, the man puts the parrot…

A blonde arrived for her first golf lesson and the pro asked her to take a swing at a ball to see how she’d do. The blonde did so and completely duffed the…

A couple was watching a Discovery Channel special about an African bush tribe whose men all had manhood 24 inches long.When males reach a certain age, a string…

A customer in a department store is offered a discounted suit by a salesperson. "But the arms and legs don't match," he says. "One arm and…

A group of aeronautical engineering professors were invited to fly for free on a new aircraft that was just being introduced. As the door was closing and the…

A crowded American Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his…

Q: How do you scare a man? A: Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice. Q: Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for…

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: “For Women Only.” Since they are without their boyfriends and…

A snake goes to the optometrist one day. "I've been having a bit of trouble with my eyesight lately," he says. "And it's been making it…

Two old men are sat on a bench at the park. A young, smoking hot girl runs past in a sports bra and a tiny pair of shorts. One of the men smiles and this brings…

All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a cowl standing in front of his bed. “What the hell are you doing in my bedroom? and who are you?”…

Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health. From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left…

A woman is walking on the road and a voice shouts out, “Don’t take a step further.” She obeys and suddenly a ton of bricks fall on the place where she would…

A girlfriend and boyfriend walked into the girlfriend’s house and the girlfriend said to her mom, “Mom, me and my boyfriend are going up to my room”… It was…

A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, “Hello. My name is…

The day after I had surgery on my leg, a nurse came into my hospital room with a box in her hand. “Are you ready for this?” “What is it?” I asked. “Fleet enema.…

A Scottish farmer is sitting on his front porch one day, resting after finishing his tasks with his dog at his feet.A man in a suit approaches the farmer,…