Jokes

A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, “You Can Be The Man Of Your House.” He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, “From now on,…

One day a beggar knocked at the door of a house, and when a woman opened the door, asked her for alms.“I’ve nothing to give you,” said the woman. “Please…

A tourist was driving down a deserted road when he came to a sign reading, "ROAD CLOSED. DO NOT ENTER." Looking at the road ahead, he thought it…

Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar talking about their professions.The first guy says, “I’m a YUPPIE. You know, young, urban, professional.”The…

Returning from her vacation, the young secretary was telling anyone who would listen about what a fun time she had. She then asked for two weeks leave in which…

A guy is in for a job interview, and the interviewer asks him“What would you consider to be your biggest weakness?”The guy replies“Honesty. I’m honest with…

A young man was having some money problems, and needed $200 to get his car fixed and road-worthy again. But had run out of people to borrow from. So, he calls…

A biker went to a bar and ordered a drink.As he sat sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him.She turned to the biker and asked, “Are you a real…

One day a city stockbroker decides he has just had too much.Too much stress, too much of the big city, too much everything.So he quits him job, gives up his…

An Irish priest was transferred to Texas.Father O’Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish. He walked…

However, no matter what they do in bed, Laura never achieves orgasm.For months they try everything they can think of – different positions, different toys and…

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their home lives. “Last night…

A local shop steward attended the big union national convention in Las Vegas.While there he decided to take part in the legal prostitution business with one…

Customer: "How much are these tomatoes?" Owner: "Ninety-nine cents a pound." Customer: "What? The stand down the road only charges…

A girlfriend and boyfriend walked into the girlfriend’s house and the girlfriend said to her mom, “Mom, me and my boyfriend are going up to my room”… It was…

Two old ladies are sitting on a bus stop, smoking. It begins to rain, and one old lady pulls out a condom, stretches it out, snips the tip off and puts it over…

An Englishman staggers, ashen-faced, into a roadside bar, demanding a large brandy. The barman is concerned. “Well” says the man, “I was just driving along and…

An American who saw the volcano Mount Vesuvius erupt, was told by a native of the town that the United States had nothing to compare with it. The American…

A young man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and is going to get married. He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over three women and you…

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?” “Sand,”…