Jokes

A man was called in for an audit by Revenue Canada.He asked his accountant for advice on what to wear.“Wear your worst clothing and an old pair of shoes.Let…

A man became sick. He consulted many multi-facility hospitals. Still couldn’t get cured. He was sad. Then his wife advised, “why don’t you consult a veterinary…

The little Johnny was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store: As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked. “Son, can you tell me where…

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on…

A man is walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows. “Twenty bucks,” she says. he’d never been with a call girl before. But he decides what…

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. After having the beer, he asks the bartender for the bill. “$3”, says the bartender.The man just for fun goes on and…

When the graveside service for his wife had just finished, there was a tremendous burst of thunder accompanied by a distant lightning bolt and more rumbling…

The nurse asked the patient to remove his clothing and put on a gown, to be checked by a doctor. “In front of you”?”, he asks, shyly. The nurse says, “Well no,…

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world.So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando , thinking that he would start…

A girlfriend and boyfriend walked into the girlfriend’s house and the girlfriend said to her mom, “Mom, me and my boyfriend are going up to my room”… It was…

A blind man walks into a bar, orders a drink and says,“Hey! Does anyone want to hear a blonde joke?” Then the woman next to him taps his shoulder and…

A preacher was known for long and boring sermons. He preached for about one hour when he stopped to scold the congregation. He said, "I know you think my…

They go on their honeymoon to beautiful, picturesque Venice, Italy. After a day of sightseeing, they return to their hotel. He turns to his young bride and says…

As he finished his sentence, he turned around to find that the man had followed and was standing right behind him, so the boy quickly added, “and this gentleman…

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.  I…

1. “If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up” said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. “Now then…

An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe with a full-grown emu behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.The truckie says, ‘A hamburger, chips and…

Two hikers are walking up a mountain trail when a huge grizzly bear leaps out in front of them and roars. The first hiker gulps and sweats, frozen in fear; the…

Late one evening a Marine pulled into a little town, only to find that every hotel room was taken. When he finally got to the last hotel, he pleaded to the…

The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used “Forgive Your Enemies” as his subject.After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their…