Jokes

When we are married, we may be asked many questions by our significant other. Some of those questions are going to come and go and we don’t need to put much…

After our air conditioner broke down, we called for a serviceman to come and take a look at it. It turned out he was a high school classmate of my…

A young, freshly minted lieutenant was sent to Bosnia as part of the peace keeping mission. During a briefing on land mines, the captain asked for questions.…

A guy walks into a bar, orders a pint and a pork pie, downs his pint, puts the pork pie on his head and smashes it with his hand, then walks out, leaving the…

The young bullfrog, full of himself, went off to find a wife. He met a cute female porcupine, and quickly fell in love with her. He told his father about his…

One day a guy walks in a bar and asks for five shots of whiskey.The bartender asks why. The guy says, “I found out my brother is lesbian.”The same guy, comes in…

While shopping at the mall, my husband and I became separated. I went out to the car, but realized I didn't have the keys. I went back into the store where…

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a genie’s lamp.She picked it up and rubbed it. Lo-and-behold a genie appeared.The amazed woman asked…

A physics professor at a state university in Michigan was famous for his animated lectures. He was short and thin with wild white hair and an excited…

… would open her front door, stand on the porch and scream, “Praise the Lord.”This infuriated her atheist neighbor who would always make sure to counter back,…

"After a while, I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, and got my degree,…

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew.She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s artwork. As she got to one…

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a genie’s lamp.She picked it up and rubbed it. Lo-and-behold a genie appeared.The amazed woman asked…

Johnny plays nice for a bit but starts getting rough again. The neighbor says, “be nice Johnny or karma will get you.” Johnny again plays nice for a bit but…

sisters to sit on the sofa. The deaf sister said to her twin “WHAT DID HE SAY?” “WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!” said the other. “Now get a little closer…

An old lady is speeding down a highway, when she spots a police officer with a speed gun. The officer signals for her to pull over, and then walks over and asks…

The CEO offered an employee a bonus of $10k or to double it and pass it on to the next employee. The first employee elected to double and pass it on. The CEO…

The computers in the cash counting room in one of Las Vegas’ biggest casinos all crashed, and the workers were forced to count and tally the money by writing…

My Friend Benny kept dropping his phone and cracking his screen. He went through a seemingly endless series of visits to cellphone screen replacement shops, and…

"I see you were last employed by a psychiatrist," said the employer to the applicant. "Why did you leave?" "Well," she replied,…