Jokes

Four-year-old Johnny was eating a hot dog when he dropped it on the floor. He quickly picked it up and was about to take another bite when his mom said,…

A man was getting married to a doctor's daughter. At the wedding reception, the father of the bride stood to read his toast, which he had scribbled on a…

There was a trial in a small town in Texas, and the prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand, she was a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He…

Wife to husband: “What do you want for dinner tonight?” “Well, we could buy prepared crust and make our own pizza at home. Or we could go off our diets and get…

  The CIA is interviewing three potential agents — two men and a woman. For the final test, they bring one of the male candidates to a door and hand him a gun.…

Mrs. Marble, a Sunday School teacher, was telling her students about the time when Lot's wife looked back at Sodom she turned into a pillar of salt. Little…

After a coworker had finished his English lecture and his class had filed out, a tenth grader stayed behind to confront him. “I don’t appreciate being singled…

One semester when my brother, Peter, attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis, an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter's…

During a parent-teacher conference, a mother insisted I shouldn’t have taken points off her daughter’s English paper for calling her subject Henry 8 instead of…

A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they…

A visitor to the North Pole was given the grand tour of the place by Santa Claus. The visitor suddenly exclaimed, "What a huge reindeer! But why…

Computer novices may feel like they're alone these days, but the following call to IBM's help center show there are plenty of people out there who…

  He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest. His father replied, “Because when I’m…

  The CIA is interviewing three potential agents — two men and a woman. For the final test, they bring one of the male candidates to a door and hand him a gun.…

As chaplain in a university residence hall, I am supposed to uphold all of the school rules, which include a ban on pets. That changed when a kitten adopted me.…

A manufacturer retired and moved to the country. He put on denims, boots, and a plaid shirt, and became a country gentleman. An old friend came to visit. The…

Two beefy men came to my house to install some new floor covering in the kitchen. Once they had moved the stove and refrigerator out of the way, it was not long…

The cost of Halloween Candy is up 13.1% since last year, and to make matters worse, they're giving us less in every package. For example, Good 'n…

The cowpoke at the dude ranch was getting the crowd to pick the type horse they wanted. "For those seasoned riders, we have fast horses. For you novice…

You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream. The back of your head keeps getting…