Jokes

Officer: You were speeding. Man: No, I wasn't. Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket. Man: But I wasn't speeding. Officer: Tell that to…

Everyone wants their vacation to be filled with positive emotions and unforgettable experiences, but sometimes plans are forced to be changed along the…

"Do you remember first meeting your wife?" "Sure, I found Jill lying face down in the gutter. I lifted her to her feet and promised her that if…

  A co-worker told John that John’s wife was being unfaithful everyday at 1:30 in the afternoon with John’s best friend. Worried and hurt, John ran home at 1:30…

An elderly gentleman goes for a check-up.After his exam the doctor said to the to the old fella, “You appear to be in good health.Do you have any medical…

As Jenna waits in line at the grocery store, she can't help but overhear the conversation of the lady in front of her. "Don't forget to say thank…

The old man was a witness in a burglary trial.The defense lawyer asks Sam, “Did you see my client commit this burglary?”“Yes,” said Sam, “I saw him plainly take…

A woman goes to the dentist. When it was her turn, she sat on the chair, lowered her underpants, and raised her legs. The dentist said, “Excuse me, but … I’m…

  Two men are in a bar getting drunk. Suddenly one of them throws up all over himself. He says, “Oh, no. Now my wife will kill me”. His friend says, “Don’t…

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. McNick, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?” No one answered until…

A man comes home after a hard day’s work and opens the refrigerator to get a soda. Inside, he sees a squirrel taking a nap. “What are you doing in my fridge?”…

Mr. Rabinowicz goes to the doctor for a check up. After extensive tests the doctor tells him, “I’m afraid I have some bad news for you. You only have six months…

An old man applies for a job as a woodcutter, but the boss is skeptical.“You don’t look strong enough to handle the big trees,” the boss says.The old man…

  A newly married couple are in bed when the man asks his wife how many men she has slept with After the question, the woman doesn’t respond. The man asks again…

So, my wife managed to crash the car again today.When the police showed up, she was all fired up, insisting that the guy she hit was being totally reckless.“He…

A prince was put under a spell so that he could speak only one word each year. If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words and…

  A couple comes up to a wishing well. The guy leans over, makes a wish, and throws in a penny. His wife decides to make a wish, too, but she leans over too…

A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.”…

Three men are in the middle of a desert when their car breaks down. For their hike to town, they each decide to take one thing with them. One man takes a jug of…

A boy comes back from school, disappointed because he got a 0 on a geography exam. “The teacher gave me a zero because I couldn’t answer a question on…