Jokes

While the family was sitting around the dinner table, Jennifer, 5, turned to her brother Andy, 3, and pointed to her dad. "That's not your real…

A Highway Patrolman waited outside a popular bar, hoping for a bust. At closing time everyone come out and he spotted his potential quarry. The man was so…

In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Montana Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take…

A woman walks into a pharmacy one day and says to the pharmacist, “I’d like a poison that’ll kill my husband but make it look like he died of natural causes.”…

I was walking through the store, and I kept hearing an annoying kid yelling, “Grandma!" I was walking past her when he finally found her. He said to her,…

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go, and he couldn't return to Earth. The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how…

My mom had me at 17 and gave me up. At 20, I found her, but she said, ’’Forget about me! My husband is a powerful man, and he’d leave me if he knew about you.’’…

The preacher was going for a dinner visit at the home of a family where the Dad was a member of the church but the mother was not. The mother was agreeable that…

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 92).We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager…

In most offices, the photocopier is out of order every now and then. One copy repairman had answered question after question for the employees. Finally one day,…

Officer: You were speeding. Man: No, I wasn't. Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket. Man: But I wasn't speeding. Officer: Tell that to…

Everyone wants their vacation to be filled with positive emotions and unforgettable experiences, but sometimes plans are forced to be changed along the…

"Do you remember first meeting your wife?" "Sure, I found Jill lying face down in the gutter. I lifted her to her feet and promised her that if…

  A co-worker told John that John’s wife was being unfaithful everyday at 1:30 in the afternoon with John’s best friend. Worried and hurt, John ran home at 1:30…

An elderly gentleman goes for a check-up.After his exam the doctor said to the to the old fella, “You appear to be in good health.Do you have any medical…

As Jenna waits in line at the grocery store, she can't help but overhear the conversation of the lady in front of her. "Don't forget to say thank…

The old man was a witness in a burglary trial.The defense lawyer asks Sam, “Did you see my client commit this burglary?”“Yes,” said Sam, “I saw him plainly take…

A woman goes to the dentist. When it was her turn, she sat on the chair, lowered her underpants, and raised her legs. The dentist said, “Excuse me, but … I’m…

  Two men are in a bar getting drunk. Suddenly one of them throws up all over himself. He says, “Oh, no. Now my wife will kill me”. His friend says, “Don’t…

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. McNick, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?” No one answered until…