Jokes

Our 26-year-old son moved back home with the idea to stock away money to buy a condo. We never bothered asking how long he'd planned to stay, but I got a…

I was working in my downtown flower shop, when I noticed a man grab a bouquet and head for the door without paying. By the time I got to the door, he was…

Joey would always come to school late and tell the teacher a big lie about what had made him late. Fed up with his lies, the teacher planned to tell Joey a…

My neighbor, she’s single. She’s single, shapely, beautiful, and she lives right across the street. I watched her as she got home from work this evening. I was…

After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, I eagerly asked my recruiter what I could expect from jump training. "Well," he said, "it's…

1. Salmonella won't be a concern. 2. Everyone will think your turkey is Cajun blackened. 3. Uninvited guests will think twice next year. 4. Your cheese…

Fresh out of seminary, a young pastor found an associate position at a prestigious church. One Sunday early on, he was given the opportunity to preach. He…

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks. The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a…

After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report. Then, a detective…

Passing an office building late one night, the lady saw a sign that said, "Press bell for night watchman." She did so, and after several minutes she…

- Fell out of the family tree. - Forgot to pay his brain bill. - Goes surfing in Nebraska. - Golf bag doesn't have a full set of irons. - Got into the gene…

For over 40 years, my grandfather put in long hours at his job, so I was more than a little curious about the way he filled his days since his retirement.…

A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat. He stopped…

While the family was sitting around the dinner table, Jennifer, 5, turned to her brother Andy, 3, and pointed to her dad. "That's not your real…

A Highway Patrolman waited outside a popular bar, hoping for a bust. At closing time everyone come out and he spotted his potential quarry. The man was so…

In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Montana Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take…

A woman walks into a pharmacy one day and says to the pharmacist, “I’d like a poison that’ll kill my husband but make it look like he died of natural causes.”…

I was walking through the store, and I kept hearing an annoying kid yelling, “Grandma!" I was walking past her when he finally found her. He said to her,…

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go, and he couldn't return to Earth. The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how…

The preacher was going for a dinner visit at the home of a family where the Dad was a member of the church but the mother was not. The mother was agreeable that…