A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results. On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. As she was…

A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, “Well, I’m a little worried…

  My wife and I got stuck in an elevator and when we got home, we told the story to our kids. They just looked at us and said. “Soooo….. …did ya get out? “Soooo….. …did ya get…

Home Funny Woman gets the best of her obnoxious atheist neighbor Everyone appears to be easily upset these days by anything. Most importantly, many people reject the notion that…

A man walks into a bar and says “I’m here to drink my troubles away!” “Well mister, you’ve come to the right place. Welcome” says the bartender, “What will it be, what can I serve…

A group of 40 year old girlfriends discussed where they should meet for dinner…. Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the waiters…

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink, she says, “I’m on this cruise to celebrate my eightieth…

Two old ladies are standing at a bus station and one of them is smoking. Suddenly it starts raining so the smoking one takes out a condom from her purse, cuts the edge off and puts…

Three people want to get into heaven.St Nicholas is the gatekeeper. He says they must give him something related to Christmas to get in.The first person reaches into his pockets…

Two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school were both virgins; they enjoyed losing their virginity with each other in 10th grade. When they…

A vacuum cleaner salesman came to my door, out of nothing poured a bag of dog sh*t on my carpet without asking my permission and said, “Sir, if this vacuum can’t clean it…

Home Funny Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect girls getaway trip, shopping, casinos, massages, facials Two days before the group is to leave Mary’s husband puts his foot…