Joe is on his last day at work as a mailman. He receives many thank-you cards and monetary gifts along his route. When he gets to the very last house, he is greeted by a gorgeous housewife, who…

1. Dial 911 immediately. 2. Open the curtains to see if anything has changed over the past 2 years. 3. You mean there's something else to do? 4. Threaten your ISP with an impeachment vote. 5.…

A student asked the teacher, “What is love?” The teacher said, “In order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back. But the rule is: you can go through…

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A pretty, young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. ‘Nurse’, he mumbles, from…

At the Doctor's Clinic... Patient: Ooh! Doctor, when will this stomach ache go? Doctor: Don't worry, Just follow this prescription and you will get quick relief. As the patient stepped out…

A man is driving down the highway when he sees a shipping truck wrecked on the side of the road, and 25 penguins waddling around outside it. He pulls over and the truck driver tells him, “Quick!…

When it comes to choosing the perfect gifts for your family, this can be a real challenge, especially when it’s for the kids.Maybe you want to pick something they’ll love, but the stakes feel even…

A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the condom display. Boy: “Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?”Dad: “Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights.” Boy: “So, why do they…

A deaf man enters a pharmacy to buy condoms and tries to explain what he wants with sign language. The pharmacist doesn’t understand anything so the deaf man puts forth his penis and 50 dollars. The…

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 92).We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.The teenager had spiked…

Fred, a waiter who had worked in a small restaurant for 53 years, passed away one night. His wife, Lois was heartbroken without him; she spent several days contacting psychics, channelers, anyone who…

My mom had me at 17 and gave me up. At 20, I found her, but she said, ’’Forget about me! My husband is a powerful man, and he’d leave me if he knew about you.’’ A year later, her husband tracked me…

A man and a woman were dating.She being of a religious nature had held back the worldly pleasure that he wanted from her so bad. In fact, he had never even seen her undressed.One day, as they drove…

JOKE OF THE DAY: A 97-year-old woman sits down with her attorney to discuss her last wishes.“I have TWO REQUESTS before I die,” she begins. “First, I want to be cremated.”The attorney nods…

A crew of highway maintenance workers was sent to repair some road signs that vandals had knocked down in a forested area. The first one they put back up was a symbol warning of a deer crossing. As…

A blonde was sick and tired of people making fun of her for being a blonde, so she decided to hang herself. A couple minutes later two men walk by and see her hanging by her wrists. “What are you…